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Thursday, June 21, 2007
i hate the way he treats me these days.
i don't know what happened between us.
why now?
i love the feeling though.
getting high thinking what i've done wrong.
this is really making me insane.
what the hell.
i could have known him better.
4 years.shit.
Posted at 01:29 pm by you-blackwidow
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Saturday, June 02, 2007
despite his insensitivity and incoherent rambling, i remained faithful to him as a friend--patient, understanding and caring. where he'd been harsh and hurtful, i continued to be tactful and loving. i guess i believed in the friendship too much. i wish he'd know that i'm hurt.
Posted at 01:42 am by you-blackwidow
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Friday, June 01, 2007
i miss them... a lot :(
one of their passions : uhuru adventure team
lence's house, may '06
livestrong!
 
lilet's place, may '07 | casa verde, may '06
.team mates.brothers.soul mates.closest friends.
Posted at 07:19 pm by you-blackwidow
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Saturday, May 26, 2007
moving on. just two words, about a second to blurt out but can take a million years to achieve because the more you try to get over, the more it invades your mind and heart. so believe it or not, there's no such thing as moving on. it's just a matter of getting used to the pain. to put it in one word--numb.
Posted at 10:10 pm by you-blackwidow
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i've got to admit, i think i'm just fooling myself into thinking that i'm still in love with him or that i am hurt. well, uhm, i am but not really. i don't know. i am confused...
i grew up with guys, i hang out with them most of the time and i know them well enough to defend my issue with loyalty or trust. i've accepted the fact that guys aren't always honest and that they usually give in to tempatations (flirting..you know, of the flesh). i didn't see good examples from my guy friends, my brother and even from my dad. in short, i don't trust guys. he can't understand this or he just simply doesn't want to understand.
i love him. more than anyone, more than anything. and i know im wrong to love him this way. he's afraid of this. fact is, he told me i love him too much that it hurts. i cannot blame him. but i think his making this an argument because he knows there's nothing he can give. he also told me that we're not compatible and that for me, is bullshit. (fyi: we're together for 3.8 yrs)
i broke up with him 2 months ago because i cannot feel him anymore. it might be shallow but that was my reason. he wasn't happy with it. early this month, he surprised me. he came back to Cebu. we talked and yes, i fell into the trap again though i wasn't sure if that was what i wanted. i know that was a mistake because after a week, he said he does't want the relationship to go further. there were a lot of things he said that night but i can't remember anything and i chose to forget them. i cried a lot. i still don't know what to do. i know i have to make a choice. move on or hope. wish i could do both.
Posted at 09:49 pm by you-blackwidow
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Wednesday, May 23, 2007
i really hate this one person in the office. i just wish she'll leave and never come back. urghh! she doesn't deserve to be happy. i'll make up a plan on how to get her butt out of my way. oh god, i don't want to be mean. i'm done with that stage already. i've made a lot of people cry way back in college and i don't want that to happen again. but, one more slip and she'll regret ever knowing me. hehehe :)
Posted at 04:29 am by you-blackwidow
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Monday, May 21, 2007
what is a friend?
someone once said,
"a friend is one soul in two bodies"
that's what you are.
you'll always be a part of me.
thank you.
for everything.
you sent this as a text message to me jay
and it was beautiful...
i know we aren't really close but
what we have means something to me.
closeness isn't important in friendships anyway,
its when you know that though
you don't have all the time in the world
to talk and be together with,
as long as your soul melts together as one
and recognizes each other as such,
its more than enough to believe
that the other person cares.
thank you jay.you'll always be our sunshine!
i heart you.mwah!
Posted at 07:58 pm by you-blackwidow
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Sunday, May 20, 2007
unreciprocated love affair.
it has always been my thing and i'm tired of it.
i am sad.
but i find myself more beautiful when i'm feeling this way. currently listening to: truth by bamboo
Posted at 03:07 pm by you-blackwidow
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007
bothered no more! 
-jannike-
she's a great friend.no doubt about it!
she's the only person who knows why its called "you-blackwidow"
and she won't tell you why i named it as such.
i miss her and i love her.
thank you so much jan, i really appreciate our friendship. 
-wackow-
he's one of the most amazing persons i've known.
i'm so blessed to have him as a friend.
thank you for always being there whenever i need someone to talk to.
you're also one of the few people that i trust.
love you wax.mwah :)
by the way, he's a pervie..hehe 
-ives and erns-
we've been through a lot.
things might have changed but i will never forget them.
whatever happens, they'll always be a part of who i am now.
thank you so much.our friendship means a lot to me.
love you both.mwah :) 
-thirdy-
witty.funny.straightforward.
he's a cool friend and i like him that way.
thank you thirds for accepting my weaknesses
and for taking time to appreciate my strong points.
you deserve to be happy.loveyou :)
  
-ps christmas party '06-
red.music.food.friends.beer.smiles.
Posted at 09:05 pm by you-blackwidow
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Friday, May 11, 2007
thought you might want to know
Hope.Love.Pain.Things I don't want to think of right now.
Smile.Talk.Work.Read.Write.Things I lost the urge to do.
The first thing I want to say to him is bullshit.
Second is I'm sorry.
I really wan't to move on.
But I don't know how to start.
It's true, there's no such thing as moving on.
It's just a matter of getting used to the pain.
Wish I could just cry this all out.
But it isn't that simple, it isn't that easy.
I'm not that strong.
Posted at 09:15 pm by you-blackwidow
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